


Nothing Incarnate

by Parapng



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Writing, Character Study, Comforting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt Crowley, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Sad, Sad Crowley (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens), This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-11-26 09:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parapng/pseuds/Parapng
Summary: "I'm evil incarnate, though I'm not even that. Cast out of Heaven because I'm a lousy angel. Hell doesn't want me because I'm not even good at being bad. I'm just NOTHING incarnate."





	1. Oh, You Stupid Serpent!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This exists as a bit of a character study of Crowley. Kudos and comments are extremely appreciated!

Crowley and Aziraphale had a wedding to go to in two hours, Newton and Anathema's, and the two were a right mess. Crowley's intricate and excessive clothing have betrayed him, his brute strength not being able to tear his clothes off. His vest was wrapped around him twice-over, and his belt was unbuckled but still in his tight fitting jeans.  
Meanwhile, Aziraphale was worriedly deciding what to wear. He had two options in front of him, and he tried them both on at least ten times, switching to the other the second he got it on. 

"Angel! Did'ya swap it for a damned chastity belt? C'mere and help me!"  
"Darling, can you come here? I'm not quite sure which I should wear!"  
The two yelled for each other at the same time. 

Crowley managed to hobble over, his jeans now in a tangled mess around his spindly legs. He kicked at it, to Aziraphale's amusement. "I din't come 'ere to be laughed at, angel." The demon muttered, embarrassed. The angel suppressed his small smile and gently knelt down, slowly and carefully making the fabric look recognizable as jeans again. Soon enough, they were off. "Thanks, angel." The demon sighed. "Now, uh, what's your dilemma?" The angel showed him both outfits and Crowley nodded. "First one, I think. The grey looks nice on you."   
Crowley and Aziraphale had a wedding to go to in one hour. The ginger donned a rather tight black suit and a blood red tie, and a handkerchief of the same colour in his pocket. The blonde had a light grey suit, with a white bow tie. Crowley hadn't let him wear tartan- "it's like wearing a scuba diving suit to space!"

The two loaded their wedding gift and themselves into the Bentley. Crowley smacked his hand in time to My Chemical Romance's, "Death on Two Legs", though he much preferred Mother Mother's, "Fat Bottomed Girls". He bordered on 100 an hour, despite Aziraphale's panicked complaining about discorporation and paperwork from Corporate. "We'll be fine!" Crowley hissed, stressing the "i". The two headed to Tadfield, where they stopped at Adam's house. It was weird having to make up a reason why two seemingly middle aged men were friends with the Youngs' son, but they managed on the excuse of being a paid tutor at his school.   
"'Ello, Mister Young. We're good friends with Anathema, and you know of Adam's being the best man. We can take 'em with us." Crowley nodded. He's always had a soft spot for kids, and Adam was no exception. He liked the kid's passive attitude. Mr. Young was rather desensitized from weird people, from living in a small town with people like R.P. Tyler. "i could have sworn I've seen you around somewhere before. Are you a doctor, too?" The man shook his head. "Adam! Mister Anthony is here to take you to that.. lady's wedding." 

Adam's fast footsteps could be heard as he went down the stairs. He was wearing only a blue button-up and black dress pants, but nobody minded. "Yeah. I'm ready to leave." Without another word, Crowley and Adam got in the car, back with Aziraphale whom was still a bit dizzy from the rollercoaster ride of a rip. "Hello, Adam! Ready to be the bearer of rings?" The blonde smiled sweetly. "Sure." 

Crowley and Aziraphale had a wedding to go to now. They got out of the Bentley on the outskirts of the Tadfield forest. Crowley carried the gift and walked alongside the angel and antichrist. It look only a minute to arrive, with newton greeting them hastily. "Ah! Hello. Nice to see you all." It didn't take three supernatural entites to know the groom-to-be was stressed out of his bumbling mind. Crowley set the wrapped gift down, which was one of his most verdant (and most frightened) plants.The rest of the reception was unbearably traditional. They even brought in Paul Coates, the town's local vicar. His citing of biblical nonsense was truly giving him the goosebumps. Even Aziraphale was surprisingly spacing out, he noticed. Everything about this atmosphere was making Crowley irritated. Still, he noticed that Anathema and Newt seemed estatic. Of course, Anathema was calmer, but the happiness radiating off them both made it clear. This was a traditional wedding, with everything as it should be. Any family would be proud to see their kid get married in a situation like this. The setting was serene and nobody else seemed even slightly bothered.

Crowley absolutely despised it.

WIthout a word to Aziraphale, the tall demon got up awkwardly and stepped over Adam's short legs. He walked out, and thankfully the bride and groom hadn't noticed to care. His eyes burned at him with what was as painful as Holy Water. Tears. He made a grunting sound, trying to shrug off the signs of vulnerability. He walked what had to be acres into the forest, which was slowly becoming thicker and suffocated the sunlight out of the atmosphere. He didn't seem to care as he let his thin legs take him farther and father in. He was so lost in his own world that he did not notice the short thicket, and the steep drop in the ground right after it.   
.  
.  
.  
.

"Oh, you stupid serpent!" Crowley heard a soft cry. It sounded like they were underwater. Or, he was underwater. He couldn't quite tell.  
It took a minute, but it felt like Crowley's mind re-entered his body, as he flailed a hand up. "Ggh!" he groaned.A strong hand helped him up, his mind feeling dragged behind his body, but he managed to regain his senses. Clearly now, he heard the same voice again. "Goh- Somebody, help me! You're so dense! I can't believe you!" Ah, he recognized it now. His yellow eyes travelled to the angel, who was lying on the hard forest ground alongside him. The branches he crushed did not prove to be a good landing pad, judging by his aching body.   
"Hi, angel." Crowley picked up his black shades, now crumpled and worthless."Don't dare to 'Hi angel' me! 'What happened?' Bloody-- somewhere! You ran off from the wedding, and I assumed you were getting claustrophobic so I let you, then you stay gone for the next six hours! You're lucky Anathema can trace auras. To do that to her, on her wedding day! I was starting to think you had been discorporated." Aziraphale shook his head.   
"Just say killed, Aziraphale. No reason to make us sound even less normal than we are."  
Aziraphale can sense love, yes, but he can also sense despair. And loads of it was radiating off of Crowley. His mindless scolding forgotten, his blue eyes grew softer as he looked at the demon with concern.  
"My dear boy, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Crowley sighed. He didn't think he was in a sober state of mind, but he couldn't care less. "Angel, why can't we be normal?" He choked out. Clearly, emotions were not his area of specialty. He noticed Aziraphale stiffen a bit, and he didn't hold his head high like before. "Love, that just isn't us. We've been here since the Beginning, and we'll be here until the End."


	2. Getting Through the Night

Crowley's vibrant yellow snake eyes were fully exposed to Aziraphale. His pupils were dilated and his demeanor resembled a trapped animal. The angel usually loved seeing his serpent's natural eyes, but with the demon's cracked shades and the hurt expression he wore, the blonde was certainly too distracted. 

"Dear, there is no reason to fret. I also apologize for, rather snapping at you earlier. You did not deserve it, Crowley. I can't say I understand, though. Why you left."The serpent closed his eyes and put his hand on his brow.  
"It's fine. We just can't be normal. Never really hit me before now, you know? I accept that I'm a freak, that I can never be attached to anyone or anything. I can't say I understand, though." Aziraphale winced as his words were thrown back at him. 

"Well, we're in the same boat! If you call yourself a freak, then I simply am one too."Crowley's face distorted in disgust, a knee jerk reaction. "No. No, that's stupid. You're stupid." He paused, "I didn't mean that. But you aren't like me. You get along with all the humans, yeah? That Dick Turpin, Antichrist, the Witch-hunter, and Bike Girl. They all like you! 'Cause you're normal and nice and great. An angel. I'm evil incarnate, though I'm not even that. Cast out of Heaven because I'm a lousy angel. Hell doesn't want me because I'm not even good at being bad. I'm just NOTHING incarnate." He bit his thin, red lip to suppress the quiver in his voice. His eyes had the familiar stinging sensation again, he bitterly joked to himself. He should get used to the feeling of being on the verge of tears, seeing as it is becoming a rather common occurrence. 

Aziraphale was rendered speechless. His heart broke to see Crowley think of himself like this. He could not stand it. Without saying another word, the angel wrapped his suit jacket around his boyfriend and grabbed his arm, too impulsive to be gentle, and started walking through the dark forest. It was almost 8 AM during autumn, and since of course Adam made the weather perfect, the evening proved to be extremely dark. There wasn't even a speck of light pollution as Aziraphale struggled to walk, dragging Crowley behind him and avoiding obstacles. The ginger was shaking like a leaf and was muttering quickly under his breath- something about how horrible it was to be in this situation and cold-blooded. The angel thought he knew the way back to the Bentley, but the wedding had long since packed up and there was no noise or light coming from the right direction of the woods, from which he came. 

"Oh. Oh, dear."  
"Sssomethn' wrong?" Crowley passively noticed that the hiss was back, a natural lisp of the man.  
"We may be lost, dear."  
Crowley stopped in his tracks, trying to get a bearing. He has a good sense of direction for familiar areas and people he cared for. That left him with a perfect rendering of the M-25, Hell, and Aziraphale's whereabouts at any given time. He shook his head, yellow eyes darting around. 

The two ended up wandering for two more hours, to no avail. "Stupid Tadfield, suburbs so stupid that they have more forest than the town. Stupid." After another thirty minutes, the celestial couple felt their will give in.   
"Angel, forget about what happened today. I can't track a damned haystack in a needle...stack.. never mind, you get my point. We can find our way to the car in the morning, alright angel? Let's just find a place to lay down until then." Neither of them had to sleep, but Crowley liked to anyway. That left Aziraphale with nothing else to do, and he did like lying against the demon's cool body. Crumpling in a heap, the lanky serpent lied against a tree and left his arm open for Aziraphale to join against him. The blonde complied, but he couldn't wipe the frown from his face. He felt tense around the demon, after what happened just hours before. He was lost in thought, and the next thing he knew, he could feel Crowley's limp body breathing slowly. He was asleep after only a few minutes. 

The sun rose the next morning in flashes of pink and red, and Aziraphale hadn't slept at all. It isn't like he needed to, but he did have to admit he felt slightly jittery. The forest was clear and bright, though, so Aizraphale woke his companion up.  
"My dear? Love?" He gently shook the ginger, who had his head rolled back against the rough bark of the tree.  
"Nghk... leave me alone."  
"Crowley, it's me. We can find our car now, remember?" Crowley's tired brain couldn't comprehend the fact that Aziraphale called it their car, and brushed it off. "Yeah, 'course. Let'sss go."  
Sobering up, Crowley leaned against the tree to balance and pushed off. Aziraphale reflexively grabbed Crowley's hand as they walked. The illuminated forest looked breathtaking in the morning, and the light led the way to the Bentley. Aziraphale wasn't happy like he'd normally be- he was just relieved. He had a crick in his neck from the restless night, and yesterday had dampened his optimism.   
Buckling in, the Principality's blue eyes drifted to meet yellow ones. "Crowley. I think we need to talk."   
"What? What about?" There's nothing to talk about." Crowley's eyes screamed at him to drop it.  
"Your- your sense of inferiority! You can't live like this, not while I'm around. You're not good. You're not evil, either. You're Crowley, a person that fights against what he thinks is wrong. You're not like anyone else I know. You are always there for me when I needed help, remember The Blitz? Now I think it's time that I help you back." Aizraphale paused to take his seatbelt off and wrap his warm arms around the redhead in the driver's seat. "I will never leave your side, and I mean that. You don't go too fast. Well, I want to catch up with you, dear. I want to be with you until The End, if you'll have me."

Aziraphale couldn't think of much to say after that, sputtering over supportive but nervous words. Crowley interrupted with slamming his lips onto the angel's, his salty tears mixing with his saliva as he reached his forked tongue into Aziraphale's soft mouth. The two moaned softly as they adjusted to make themselves more comfortable in their positions on the leather seats.   
Crowley pulled away after a minute or two, and looked at the man sitting across from him. "Somebody, you're perfect." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter and I hope it was alright. Kudos and comments make my day. :)


	3. Oh, Angel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale's soft sweet love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! This chapter is soft. But I may make more angst soon, whether as a continuation of this or a new story.

The angel was quietly gasping for air. He didn't need to, but he thought it felt right.   
"You are too." Aziraphale breathed. "Really, I mean it." 

Crowley grabbed a pair of his shades from the glove department and snapped, the Bentley's engine whirring. "Keep saying that and I'll glue the entirety of 'the Sound of Music' to the back of your eyelids." 

Aziraphale huffed- slightly because of the remark and slightly to brace for the fast drive. "You pour all of this love into me, and can't find any left to tend to yourself. I just want to show you how much you're worth, alright? No heaven and hell business involved, just us. Right here and right now. Please?" 

Crowley felt a crippling sense of obligation to comply, since he caused a ruckus at the forsaken wedding. "Fine, angel. Only because it's you." 

"Lovely!" Aziraphale's rosy face beamed, which the demon couldn't help but suppress a grin at. I know exactly what we should do for you, dear. I have a list and everything." 

The first thing on the list: cinema.  
Aziraphale miracled them both tickets to Bohemian Rhapsody, the newest movie to release.

Crowley arched a brow at the selection, but didn't complain. "I used to know him, you know. Fun man. He'd always have his notebook when we talked, made songs for 'em. Good old fashioned lover boy? Us." He grinned at the memory and clutched the ticket tightly. "C'mon angel, I'm buying you food first."

Aziraphale had a tray of popcorn along with a pretzel as he sat on the red seats, next to the redder demon. 

Halfway through the film, Crowley was completely enamored with it. His yes were glued to the screen, and his hand slowly inched toward the chubby hand on the rest. Aziraphale smiled and took it in his, Crowley's cool skin calming him. Meanwhile, the demon's captured attention redirected to the sudden wave of warmth he felt. Aziraphale was holding his hand, and it took all of his willpower not to jolt and lose the contact. He managed to just tighten his grip again, smiling wildly.

Second thing on the list: a nice walk in the park, outside the Ritz. 

Aziraphale wrote this down so he could list off the reasons he loved Crowley during the walk. 

Strolling alongside the blonde, Crowley was startled to hear a small, "I love you because of your personality. How you say things and react. Your mean exterior to contrast your nice interior." 

"Ange-"

"And your firey red hair. Gosh, it's so nice. And your little shades. And your tattoo. And your unique tie. And your hands. YOU, dear, I love you for you. I wouldn't trade you off for Her, even. Because you're Crowley." 

At this point, Crowley stop walking. His bright yellow eyes were dilated and he took his shades off to stare at his angel. Aziraphale was staring back at him with happy pink cheeks and smile-creased eyes. 

"Gkh. I love you too."

And that was the first time Crowley had ever told him.


End file.
